Tall, Dark, and Handsome
by Malathyne
Summary: She reflects on the romance in her life -- and, the lack thereof. Rikku-centric. "It wasn't anything more than a girl-crush so whatever, I'm fine, I got over it."


I just kind of have this thing for tough guys, all right? Opposites attract, or whatever. But they're all tall and they stand still and they say something witty with a straight face in their tough voices and I'm just like, butter. "Ooohh, must flirt, must flirt!" Can't help myself.

Like, take Gippal, for example. We grew up together, kinda, and I've always had this need to flirt with him. It was cool for a while. He flirted back. People were like "You guys should go out!" and I was like "No way, Pops'll kill him!" and then people started saying we _were_ going out and Pops really _tried_ to kill him.

I dunno if that was when Gippal started keeping his distance or what, but at some point something changed. Probably when we both grew up a little bit. He changed more than I did. Matured differently. He grew up to be a tough guy, and I grew up to be… well, Rikku.

I could never sit still. Ever. Always bouncin' and wavin' my arms 'n' speakin' my mind. When we grew apart, I started to feel like a little kid when I was around Gippal. He's just so different 'n me, y'know? I started making a conscious effort to sit still 'round him. Tried not to move around too much. I mean, I can't help it -- I'm Rikku, so I gotta hop around and make weird hand motions. But I tried to cut back on it, I really did. And I keep tryin', even after however-many-years it's been. Habit, I guess?

Or maybe I just thought he'd like a girl more like _him_ -- less Rikku, more Paine (even though I didn't know Paine then, that's the kind of girl I figured he liked). I mean, maybe his type o' girl isn't so much the hyperactive, in-your-face sort. He certainly seemed to think I was a dummy. Treated me like a kid for a while there. So if Rikku couldn't cut it, maybe a less-Rikku Rikku would?

I dunno, it's kinda stupid. It's like Kimahri said. "Rikku should stay Rikku!" … Okay, I totally tried to imitate his voice there but you couldn't catch it 'cause you're reading and not listening to me talk. But that's okay, you get the idea. But no, really, though. Why the hell 'm I bothering to try and stay _calm_ for _him_? It's dumb. (Maybe I am a dummy.) So, whatever. I'm gonna give up on that.

… But I must really, _really_ like tough guys, y'know? 'Cause even after the whole Gippal thing, I went on a pilgrimage with my cousin Yuna, and one of her guardians was -- Well, I betcha you know what I'm gonna say next, so I'm not gonna say it 'cause I guess I'm just bashful like that. But really, he wasn't very nice to me at first, and he was like, _old_. (I say old, but he's really not. But he's over twice my age! Yeesh, Rikku.) Dunno why I liked him. Again, it's that tough guy thing. And I guess it didn't help that he's not really a mean old man through and through. He's kinda a softy on the inside. Hee hee. So there's more to 'im than that, ya'know? But he went to the Farplane where he belongs, and it wasn't anything more than a girl-crush so whatever, I'm fine, I got over it.

I gotta admit, I kinda had a crush on _Him_, too, y'know? Just a little bit, and just at the beginning. … But he's made for Yuna, and Yuna's made for him, and a blind shoopuf could see that underwater from a mile away! So, it's okay. They're perfect for each other, and I ain't gonna stand in the way of _that_ -- Not for a silly crush! I let myself think of him as a brother. (Which is still pretty icky, no matter what way you look at it. My brother and my cousin? Eeeww.)

And then I went on some more adventures with Yunie, and Paine, too. (You remember her, right? I mentioned her earlier.) And we ran into Gippal! Well, okay, I say ran into, but he turned out to be pretty important. But I started trying to sit still again, like it was born into my bones or something! Eeeuch, what's wrong with me?!

I'm tellin' ya, it's a Rikku-reflex. (Rikkuflex? Hehe.) "Ooh, tough man! Must flirt, must flirt!"


End file.
